RAWANG, Malaysia – The launch of a club to promote polygamy is reviving the hot debate about the issue in Muslim heavyweight Malaysia, with proponents saying it helps disadvantaged women and deter adultery while opponents condemn it as a violation of women’s rights. "We want to change the way people perceive polygamy, so that it will be seen as something beautiful instead of something disgusting," Hatijah Aam, the founder of the “Polygamy Club”, told The Canadian Press on Monday, September 28.
“What is wrong with sharing a husband? I've been doing so for nearly 30 years."
The club, which has 300 husbands and 700 wives, aims to help single mothers, ex-prostitutes and women beyond the marriage age.
Founders hope to project examples of happy households to counter women's rights activists who say some spouses and children suffer in polygamous marriages.
Why polygamy Is Allowed in Islam Polygamy: Norm or Exception? "Some people treat polygamy as a laughing matter because they do not fully comprehend it," says Hatijah’s husband Ikramullah, a businessman. "But a community that practises it would know that it is not bizarre.”
Kartini Maarof, a lawyer, believes polygamy can serve divorced mothers well.
A decade ago, she arranged to marry her husband to her divorce client, a mother of seven.
"Of course, you miss your husband and there are natural feelings of competition and jealousy at first,” said Kartini.
“But after a while, you try to become friends and you learn that you can share your problems with each other.”
Polygamy is legal for Muslims, who make up more than 65 percent of Malaysia’s 27 million population, though not widespread.
“(Polygamy) is not a culture that is encouraged in our society," said Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, the Muslim female minister in charge of family policy.
Opposition
Sisters in Islam, an advocacy group campaigning against polygamy, took a sweep at the pro-polygamy argument.
"If people choose to be monogamous, there are enough men for every woman," it said in a statement.
Polygamy used to be more common in Muslim-majority Malaysia but has dwindled to an estimated two percent of all Muslim marriages.
Many link this to the fact that women have become freer and careers have opened up for them.
Sharifah, a 42-year-old business executive, is one such example.
She had a personal experience with the issue when her husband of nearly 15 years told her of plans to marry a divorced mother of three.
"I felt like my fairy tale had ended," Sharifah, a mother of two, recalled.
"He was my soul mate...I couldn't believe it was happening. Then I started to scream at him."
The husband gave up the idea of having a second wife after the couple underwent marriage counselling.
"Women have to make a stand. We are getting more progressive. We know our rights," said Sharifah.
"I will not enter into a polygamous marriage. I know I deserve better."
Islam sees polygamy as a realistic answer to some social woes like adulterous affairs and lamentable living conditions of a widow or a divorced woman.
A Muslim man who seeks a second or a third wife should, however, make sure that he would treat them all on an equal footing.
Source: IslamOnline
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