In a non-Muslim country such as the US, where Muslims are minorities, and where the majority of Muslim children are in public schools, the need to encourage our children to fast and to learn about the values of fasting is greater than in our Islamic countries.
In an environment where Islam is one of the fastest growing religions, but at the same time one of the most misunderstood religions, there is no doubt that it is harder for Muslim children to fast during Ramadan without feeling like strangers and foreigners among their classmates and teachers who do not share their beliefs and their Islamic way of life.
Help Your Child
Unlike other children in Muslim countries, American Muslim children -especially those who attend public schools- struggle during Ramadan, not just against thirst and hunger, but also when trying to explain to their schoolmates and teachers the meaning and values of fasting. Being different and unique is not easy, especially for children who are still young and may not fully understand the meaning of diversity among human beings.
Many of them prefer to be like their other classmates because they feel too shy to behave differently. In the meantime, it could be hard for their young non-Muslim classmates to understand why their Muslim friend is not eating or drinking at lunchtime. They may feel that fasting is too hard and cruel and that Islam requires his followers to torture themselves for no cause, which is in essence against humanity and appears merciless. Some may think that it is hard to study and learn while fasting as food and drink give children the energy to play and move. Still others may think that fasting decreases one's chance to develop and grow up.
Herein, the Muslim student - often already struggling due to being the only one fasting in his/her class - needing someone to encourage him/her and to strength his/her will, could start to feel like a stranger and foreigner among his/her schoolmates. Moreover, Muslim children may feel so embarrassed to tell others that they are fasting. Some Muslim students prefer to give any reason for not eating, such as saying that they are on a diet or do not feel hungry, rather than saying that they are fasting. They think that hiding themselves and their identity is much easier than facing their critics.
Therefore, it is very important for Muslim parents to be aware of the important role they should play in their children's life; especially when they start to fast and to face this new experience of fasting during Ramadan, and the new feeling of being different from their classmates. As parents we need to understand that our children's demands are much different than ours were when we were at that age. The times have changed, as well as the place, the environment, and the challenges.
Our children need us to be there for them and to understand their feelings, struggles, and challenges so that we could be able to address their needs and to help them to surpass those obstacles.
These little and innocent troubles could lead to bigger and more serious problems in the future, if parents do not pay them enough attention and time. Instead of helping them now and if we decry and disparage our children's problems we will create a climate for others to shake our children's self-confidence.
How Can We Help?
Most American public schools open their doors for Muslim parents, or any other minorities, to talk to their children's schoolmates about their vacations, feasts and traditions, in order to help children learn about diversity. Indeed, it helps children to understand others' traditions and subsequently to respect them, even if they look or act differently.
However, as some Muslim families take advantage of this opportunity to introduce Ramadan to their children's classes and to ease their children's foreignness and help them to feel proud of themselves and their religion, others don't care or share because they do not understand the challenges their children face in school during Ramadan.
But, going to schools and talking with our children's teachers and classmates about Ramadan are not the only steps parents could take to help their children and to strengthen their faith and self-confidence.
Start With Your Own Child
Before introducing Ramadan to our children's class, we need first to start with our children and to prepare them to be content with their uniqueness. In order to do this we have to.
Sahar Kassaimah is a freelance writer as well as the managing editor of the quarterly American Muslim magazine, and the editor in chief of American Muslim Kids magazine.
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